


so what’s the altitude?

by sleepyshamrocks



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, lena has one (1) friend and it's kara, n e way girlfriends, whew we love college roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2020-03-07 22:50:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18882838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepyshamrocks/pseuds/sleepyshamrocks
Summary: there’s a dismal feeling mixed with something akin to longing whenever she sees kara walk by with her seemingly endless number of friends. she wonders what that feels like, to be the center of everyone’s attention, to be loved unconditionally by people who don’t expect anything in return. thinking about it brings out a familiar twinge far deep inside her chest, tinged green with jealousy.although, sometimes she wonders if she’s jealous of kara or her friends instead.orfive times kara ditches her friends to be with lena, and one time lena sees it for what it is.





	so what’s the altitude?

**Author's Note:**

> WHEW found this in my drafts and thought it would be a waste not to post

 

lena used to think she had university down to a t. it was supposed to be easy: get in, rise up the ranks in all three departments she majors in and the astronomy society she chose as an elective, and get out. bonus points for every lecturer, professor, or researcher she manages to rope into her professional network who might be of use to the family company in the future.

having a social life isn’t even near any of those targets. having cruised through the entire three years of high school without a single person she can call a friend (as lonely as she can be sometimes, even lena knows that hook-up partners can’t exactly be considered friends, especially when you both have a deal to never acknowledge each other in the presence of a third person), she came into university completely steeled with the fact that casual acquaintances are nothing but hindrances in the pathway towards success. ‘they are not your friends, they are your competition’ and all that jazz.

which is why she has no idea why it’s so damn hard to resist her roommate’s constant offers of friendship. dealing with kara danvers is like trying to push away a puppy who’s jumping on you in excitement. practically impossible and, if she’s going to be honest, not exactly unpleasant, either.

“oh come on, lena,” kara moans dramatically, jumping on one foot in an attempt to get the other one inside her jeans. “it won’t kill you to come to _one_ party. and it’s in a sorority house, so no sweaty, overbearing frat boys allowed.”

“statistically, there’s a twenty six point seven percent chance of dying in an alcohol-related death in college, plus another three point five percent chance of dying in a party at all,” lena points out nervously. “the percentages don’t lie, kara. _they don’t lie_.”

kara moves on to applying makeup, flicking the tail of her eyeliner with freakish precision. “well, wouldn’t you like to take your chances with that other seventy percent? what’s life if we don’t live it to the fullest, huh?”

“uh, _safe_.”

“that’s kind of boring, don’t you think?” kara continues, slipping into her nicer pair of white converses, as opposed to the rattier ones she usually wears to go to class. not that lena notices what kind of shoes kara wears, of course.

kara’s all ready now, looking like an assistant librarian in a bright yellow top and a light blue cardigan. not what one would normally wear to a raging college party, but everyone and their mother likes kara enough not to question her taste in fashion. she’s lingering by the door, and not for the first time, lena wonders why kara even gives a damn at all.

“i wish you’d come with me, just once.”

“maybe next time.” lena tries to smile, but fails halfway.

is kara wearing blush, or are her cheeks naturally that rosy?

“yeah, next time.”

kara grins, and they both breeze by the fact that lena’s said the exact same thing every time before.

 

**1.**

sometimes, lena stays awake at night wondering how different her life would be if luthorcorp never got exposed for doing illegal human trials in the early stages of their new pharmaceutical breakthrough. if her brother had never gotten jailed, and her family name torn to shreds by the ruthless shark that is mass media.

high school still probably would’ve been shit, anyway. she got more flak for being a lesbian and a girl who excelled at STEM subjects (“ _engineering’s for boys, lena. you don’t really want a future fixing cars in a hot, cramped garage, do you?_ ” “you’re right. i’d never stoop so low as to dabble in that section of engineering.”), but the fallout still hit a considerable dent on her reputation. even here in college where the students are more understanding of the fact that she had nothing to do with lex’s unethical activities, the social ladder remains the only ladder she can’t climb up.

it’s a tough life, but it’s the one she has. there’s no use in dwelling upon the past, unless it’s to learn how to cover up your tracks better for next time.

she learned that one from lillian. charming woman, she is not.

she’s strolling past the campus park, hoping to reach the student cafeteria before all the blueberry-and-chocolate-chip muffins run out (the one guilty pleasure she has), when she hears a loud laughter ringing from a couple of feet away.

“...you should’ve seen his face when i accidentally sprayed the whip cream gun everywhere, it was hilari – oh hey, lena!”

kara bounds over to her, arm linked with a mild-looking boy wearing a plaid shirt and clutching a thick book whose cover she recognizes. _ethical hacking and penetration testing guide_ by rafay baloch, the nice hardcover one, at that.

“hi, kara.” she suddenly doesn’t know what to do with her hands. kara’s beaming at her so brightly. who even has this kind of energy at ten in the morning?

“lena, this is winn. winn, you know lena.”

“of course, who doesn’t?” winn says enthusiastically. lena prepares herself for the usual “you’re the one whose brother went to jail, aren’t you?”, but the boy surprisingly continues with. “you’re the one who solved that problem about the integrability of motion around galactic razor-thin disks, in like, twenty seconds in our astrophysics class last month. you were my hero that day.”

“i – yeah, i’m surprised you remember that.”

an unpleasant thought with the voice of her mother rings in her mind, _you can use his admiration, twist it for your benefit._

kara glances the exchange with a confused furrow in her brows. “yeah, intergalactic motion thin mint disks!” she whoops out, earning bewildered looks from the other two. “anyway, lena, where are you going?”

“um, i’m just heading to the cafetaria to grab some snacks.”

“ooh, i love snacks!” kara bounces on her heels. she turns to winn and asks, “is it okay if i go with lena now? i’ll meet you in the game room after my four pm class.”

winn nods. “sure. have fun, you two. lena, watch her, okay? we don’t want her to overdose on cookies and have her blood sugar shoot up to 10.2 again.”

“that was one time! and i still don’t know whether that number is even good or bad!”

“it’s bad, kara. it’s bad,” lena assures her.

“whatever. if they’re serving double chocolate sundaes then not even rao can stop me.”

“who?” slips out of lena’s mouth, but there’s no time for kara to hear her as she yanks them both towards the cafeteria building.

“bye, winn.” lena calls out behind her. she sees winn raise a waving hand, and thinks, _wow, not all the kids here are shitheads after all_.

she likes him, that’s what she means.

winn and his admiration for her quickly gets forgotten, though, as she watches kara dare herself to down three sundaes, four hot dogs, two bags of ranch doritos, and a half-liter bottle of soda.  she’s sure that her face is projecting nothing short of a horrified expression, but the shit-eating grin kara sports as she crunches on her last chip melts something in her nitrogen-frozen heart. she sends a mental thank you to whatever omniscient being watching them from the depths of space who had the genius foresight to put them together as roommates, and ensuring lena a friend in the process.

even if lena has to hold up kara’s ponytail as she hurls in the toilet ten minutes later.

still worth it.

 

**2.**

aside from her talents in speed eating, arm wrestling, and charming the pants out of everyone she meets, kara is apparently an excellent budding reporter as well, being one of the top students in the journalism department and a grudging favorite of professor grant. which is why it’s no surprise to anyone, least it be lena, that she was chosen to do the piece on the anniversary of lex’s trial for the university paper.

“lena, if you’re uncomfortable with this, we can put it off for another day,” kara says kindly, ignoring sam muttering, “no, we really can’t,” under her breath. and lena understands, she really does. she agreed to be interviewed weeks ago, so snapper gave them both a deadline that’s approaching far too soon and now it’s on lena to fulfill her part of the promise, lest kara and sam be subjected to one of snapper carr’s infamous blow-ups over anything related to his precious newsline.

“yeah, i’m ready.” she takes a deep breath, and kara starts the recording device, placing it on the table between them.

“first of all, i know how hard this period must be for you. i can only imagine the pain you must be going through right now. if there’s anything you need, anything at all, you know you can rely on me, right? just say the word, and i’ll be there for you,” kara says earnestly. “even if it’s to give you a back massage or something, i’ll do it.”

lena shoots her a confused look. “kara, aren’t we on record right now?”

“oh. oh, yeah.”

sam takes a deep breath. “moving on to the actual question. what is your response to lex’s recent statement that he still doesn’t regret doing the human trials and that it was necessary to push forward to a new medical era?”

“well, my outlook on this isn’t so black and white as many people believe it to be,” lena starts, leaning back on her seat. “much of the world’s most monumental scientific discoveries, especially one as significant as the one my brother was working on, stand on the back of controversial actions that ultimately pay off in the end. but his decision to continue with human trials at such an early and volatile stage was egregious, and was heavily influenced by my father’s own poor health condition at that time. it caused unnecessary deaths, and i just wish he would realize that sacrificing so many people wasn’t worth the short time it took to discover the end result.”

it comes out smoothly, like her family lawyer had trained her to do many years ago; a neutral statement that sided with the public’s moral perspective while not outright denouncing her family. a balance that kept her from being publicly despised like her mother was when she declared her support for lex.

_family first. don’t forget that._

kara frowns. then leans forward and covers lena’s hand with her own. “lena,” she says, looking straight into her eyes. “you can give us the pr statement if you want, and we’ll go with it. but i’d really like it for the students here to know you, the real you, as a person, and not just as lex luthor’s sister.”

lena swallows and looks away. “lex was a good brother, and i loved him,” she answers honestly, the lump in her throat choking her up a bit. “i wish that mattered, in the end.”

“hey,” kara says, concern written on her face. “family is complicated, i get it. you’re allowed to miss the brother you once had. it doesn’t make you bad like him.”

“i condemn his actions, i do. what he did was terrible. but i just wish people would understand that he’s not entirely an evil person. he loved me, kara. that should matter, right?”

“it does. you’re still a great person, lena. nothing will ever change that, and i wish more people would see it too.”

how does kara have so much faith in her, lena wonders. they only became friends due to circumstance, and there is zero reason for kara to doubt what the press has been saying about her for years. maybe all that sugar she consumes on a daily basis knocked a few screws loose.

lena realizes that she’s been silent for a second too long and quickly stammers out, “t - thanks, kara. i guess i just wish i was allowed to feel hurt over it, you know?.”

kara stares at her for a while, then slams her hands on the table, causing both lena and sam to jump in their seats. “okay, that’s it.” she moves to click the recorder off and shoves it in her bag. “we are going to go back to our room and eat ice cream and watch bad rom-coms and forget about all this. it’s the least you deserve, lena.”

“repression isn’t exactly a healthy coping mechanism,” sam points out beside her.

“it’s not repression, it’s self-care.”

“uh, so does this mean that the interview is over, or….?” lena asks awkwardly, standing up on instinct when kara gestures her to.

“yep, it’s over. i’ll send you the draft tomorrow and we can edit and polish it before this friday. sounds good, sam?”

“yep,” the girl affirms, pushing her chair in. “by the way, kara. reporting on someone you’re involved with is against the journalist’s code, you know,” she smirks. “see ya, losers.”

lena blushes at the implication, but kara just tilts her head and says, “huh?” at sam’s retreating back.

“whatever, let’s go, lena! we’re out of those mint ice cream you unreasonably like so much, though, so we’ll have to stop by a store first.”

 

the next week, a front-page article titled ‘ _the trials and tribulations of being a luthor_ , by kara danvers and samantha arias’ becomes the newest talk of the town, and more people come up to say hi to her than she’s ever collectively received in the past two years.

 

**3.**

every year on the fifth of march, the national city gallery hosts an art and photography exhibition meant to showcase the beauty of the city and its inhabitants, and every year as well, the luthors, as its biggest sponsors, are invited to its opening night gala.

growing up, lena never tried to hide how unimpressed she was with 3x5m squares of what looked like every single tree planted in the city park, or those typical ‘blurred motion’ pictures of people milling to and fro in the street. photography is a weird job, she thinks. you make such an effort to capture a brilliant picture, yet you’re the one who’s almost always overlooked by the audience. people rarely care about the photographer, they just care for the photograph.

yet, apart from lena’s personal philosophy on the matter, she still has a reputation to uphold and an appearance to keep up at this year’s exhibition, especially with the whole lex’s anniversary going on. _it’s important to keep remaining in the public eye, dear_ , states the letter crushed in her right fist, _i can’t risk coming, of course, so it’s on you to make sure that our good name isn’t besmirched any further._

pfft, whatever. if her mother couldn’t be bothered to come, then it means that no one will be there to dictate how straight her shoulders should be or to hiss at her for doing another eyeroll. most importantly, it means that no one will be there to reprimand her from drinking too much of the free-flowing champagne, the only saving grace of the event.

“steven, tell me exactly what you mean by ‘no alcohol this year’.” lena pinches the bridge of her nose.

“well,” steven says anxiously. “the council has decided that, given the recent PSAs about alcoholism, it would be much wiser to replace the complimentary champagne with grapefruit juice.”

“grapefruit juice…. _grapefruit juice_.” she wants to shriek from the injustice, but manages to quell it as to not scare poor steven any further.

“i can order a bottle of absolut for you, if you’d like,” he offers helpfully, but lena sighs and shakes her head.

“mother will send out a hit team for me if tomorrow’s tabloids have a picture of me drunk and out of control in one of national city’s most important events.”

“well, then. shall we?”

steven escorts her to the entrance of the city hall and signs her name on the guestlist. “if it’s any consolation, based on tonight’s schedule, you’ll only have to endure five hours of pretentious art talk, instead of last year’s seven.”

“you understand me so well, steven.”

“it comes from being your personal butler of fifteen years, yes.”

steven bids her goodbye, and lena wanders around the exhibition, eyes sliding from one painting, sculpture, and blown-up photographs to the next. she debates whether turning on her phone to play a game would be socially acceptable or not, but decides against it when she notices the judgmental looks the other patrons are shooting at her.

five hours, jesus. that’s three hundred minutes, so 18,000 seconds.

17,999.

17,998

17,997

“lena! oh my god!”

“what the – ,” lena spins on her heels to see kara bounding towards her. “kara?”

“hi, wow,” she says breathlessly, ruffling down her dress. “what are you doing here? i didn’t know you liked,” she gestures vaguely around them, “art.”

“i don’t, but i have to keep up appearances. mother’s orders.” lena lets out a humorless chuckle. “what about you? have i secretly been living with an art prodigy all these months?”

kara snorts. “nah, i wish. i’m just here for support.”

“for whom?”

“james olsen. you see that guy there? he and i go way back, and this is his first time to be featured in the exhibition, so suffice to say that he’s quite proud. i’m his plus one.”

“james….olsen.” kara’s high school sweetheart, talented photographer, and all-around nice guy, if lena remembers her extensive background research correctly, back when she was curious of what her roommate would be like, and whether they’d just be another person to turn their back on her.

of course, she can’t exactly tell all that to kara, so she settles with a, “he seems nice.”

“he – he is.” for the first time that night, kara seems nervous, hesitant. her fingers toy with the material of her dress. “he’s a good friend of mine.”

“oh.” lena’s not sure whether she feels hurt because it seems as if kara is implying that she has a boyfriend that she never mentioned in the past seven months, or upset because kara has a _boyfriend._ which is stupid, now that her brain’s caught up with the rest of the situation. of course a girl as bright as kara would have people falling all over her feet. god knows lena’s one of them.

still, an ugly green ball of jealousy rears its head.

“yeah, yeah, so – yeah.” kara smiles at her again, but this time, her eyes are unsure, the furrow between her brows wavering just so slightly, and lena has no idea what could possible have transpired in the past minute to turn the air between them awkward.

the speakers suddenly emit a sharp, high-pitched whine, and all the guests wince as national city’s mayor instinctively holds out the microphone away from him. “sorry about that, folks,” he says gruffly, before launching into the same introductory speech he’s given every year for the past five he’s been in office. lena yawns. points for his law reforms but not for his originality.

then, he says a familiar line, “...and what better way to celebrate national city’s finest artists?” and lena is thrown into this exact moment, three years ago, when lex had scoffed and muttered, “finest artists, my ass. your macaroni and glitter castle from kindergarten outshines all this shit, easy,” winking conspiratorially at her. lena had rolled her eyes and elbowed him, and they both ignored her mother’s hiss for them to shut up.

later that night, they both took out their boredom by trying to make a smoke bomb out of the bottles of champagne by adding in calcium hypochlorite crystals they found in bags in the maintenance closet, which, in hindsight, was a terrible idea, but it was the most fun she’s had with her brother in years, considering how busy he was with the company.

that was the year before shit hit the fan and everything went sideways.

kara must’ve noticed the faraway look in lena’s eyes because she lays a tentative hand on lena’s shoulder. “hey,” she asks softly, “ you okay?”

“yeah, yeah. sorry, i just spaced out a bit.” it’s probably a bad idea to bring up lex now, but a there’s a small flame of hope flickering in her and a whisper in her ear that says, _open up_. “i used to come here every year with my mother and lex. i didn’t realize how unbearable it was without him when it went down to just me and lillian, but now…it just feels lonely.” she tries to swallow down the emotions choking her up. the tabloids will have a field day if she bursts into tears next to a watercolor painting of the national city bridge.

the chatter around them quiets down, and the whole world comes to a focus on the both of them. lena can’t gauge kara’s thoughtful expression, and an apology for unnecessarily bringing up a sour topic during what was supposed to be a casual conversation lies on the tip of her tongue. damn her and her inability to maintain social composure in front of pretty girls.

“lena,” kara says, confidence lacing her tone. “do you want to get out of here?”

huh. that one’s unexpected. “what?”

“there’s a chinese restaurant two blocks down that serves the best potstickers and canto fried rice. i guarantee you’ll love it. ooh, and,” kara’s eyes light up with excitement, “we can drink as much beer as we want. that’s always a plus in my book.”

lena hesitates, trying her best to stomp down the flame of hope that’s growing into a kitchen fire. “won’t james miss you, though? i don’t want to take you away from him.”

“huh? oh, i mean – right, james. nah, he won’t miss me. i think.” kara bounces on the balls of her feet, practically vibrating with the eagerness to ditch the gala. “anyway, he seems to be occupied.” kara nods in the direction of james, who is chatting animatedly with an oddly familiar pretty brunette.

“oh, um.” what is lena even doing, being indecisive like this? as if she wouldn’t burn her inheritance just to see kara smile. “yeah, sure. i’ll come with you.”

kara lights up even more and grabs lena’s arm, guiding her to the entrance. “come on.”

for a second, the logical part of lena’s mind wonders whether she should inform anyone of her leaving. the question slips away as she and kara speed past the front desk, tumbling into the street. the streetlights bathe them in yellow light, and lena shivers when a gust of wind blows past.

they walk the whole two blocks in silence. lena’s hand bumps into kara’s once and she blushes, looking away. she’s about to blurt out an apology when kara links their pinky fingers together, swinging it all the way to the restaurant like an eager child.

they eat fried rice and dumplings and lena watches kara shovel plates of jiaozi without breathing, and in between gulps of tsingtao beer lena tries to convince herself that the warm feeling blooming inside her chest doesn’t mean anything. nothing at all.

 

**4.**

the thing about being in college is that no matter how hard-headed you think you can be, there will always be that one moment where your inhibitions are lowered and your roommate manages to rope you into a party.

which is what happens to lena on a friday night.

“kara, finals are in three weeks! i can’t just abandon my studies like this!” lena has always operated on a two-month pre-exams schedule, during which no social activity can be commenced for more than thirty minutes each time, three days a week, max. she thrives on punctuality.

“lena, i’m sure that,” kara eyes the closed textbook on her lap, “pervasive computing and cyberphysical systems can wait for one friday night. you’re seriously burned out, i can tell by the empty two-liter mountain dew bottles piling up under your bed.”

lena glares at her. “don’t judge my drinking habits, kara danvers. they fulfill their function and that’s what matters.”

“come on, lena! it’s just one night, and then you can go back to imprinting books in your brain like the robot you are. i promise it’ll be fun!”

lena raises an eyebrow at the blonde’s outfit choice instead. “you look like a lumberjack.”

“hey, don’t judge the flannel. and don’t try to change the conversation here.”

lena groans and flops back on her bed. maybe a party _is_ what she needs right now. just one, enough to satisfy her curiosity of what a college party would be like, give her time to spend with kara, and allow her to pat her back for socializing at the end of the night. kara is right: maybe pervasive computing and cyberphysical systems _can_ wait for one night after all.

an involuntary thought worms its way into her brain, one that sounds suspiciously like her mother’s usual disapproving hisses. _one pretty smile and you immediately halt your studies? how weak of you._

“you said you’d come next time.” kara’s voice is soft and maybe a little bit hopeful. “you don’t have to, it’s completely your choice, but i - i’d just like it if you were there with me.”

lena’s cheeks hurt from trying to suppress a grin. the ceiling is staring back at her in what she imagines is full support, cheering her on. “okay, i’ll come with you.”

“really? seriously? you will?” kara blabbers. “oh my god, we should pick you an outfit! and, oh crap, my eyeliner’s almost finished and i spilled all of yours last week. but that doesn’t matter, you’d look good bareface wearing a plastic raincoat anyway, i don’t know why i’m stressing about all of this –,”

“kara.”

“right, sorry.” she clears her throat. “do you want to start changing, and we can go in ten?”

“great.”

and that’s how lena finds herself half an hour later, nervously tugging down the black crop-top kara lent her as they approach the frat house pulsating with colored light and loud music and laughter.

the second they enter the building, a pretty blonde stumbles her way in front of them. heavily drunk, if her slurred words are to indicate. “karaaaaa, you’re here – fuck.” kara laughs and steadies the girl.

“hey, sara. is ava here with you?”

sara pouts. “we’re on a break right now. which is why i’m here, drinking my ass off, and not under her instead. ugh, i love being under her. did you know that? she does this thing with her tongue that’s so – ,”

“whoa, okay,” kara interjects loudly. “maybe it’s better if you keep this part to yourself.”

“whatever, i just wanna get druuunk,” sara hollers, and the people around them whoop in agreement.

and then she vomits on the doormat, barely missing lena’s shoes. kara jumps back to avoid the splatter.

“crap. sara, you okay?”

“i’m,” –  she heaves again – “fine.”

kara lightly rests a hand on sara’s back, her brows furrowing in concern. “let’s get you cleaned up, okay?” she looks at lena hovering awkwardly next to them. “i’m going to bring her to one of the bathrooms. just stay here and we’ll be right back. ten minutes, i promise. bye!”

lena opens her mouth to protest, but kara is already gone, disappearing past the throngs of drunk people with sara clinging to her arm.

crap.

lena shuffles awkwardly. the stereo is pounding out a radio pop song, the beat reverberating under her shoes. she startles; a drunk guy pushes past her and stumbles down the front steps, moaning.

her mother’s voice bubbles up from the recesses of her mind. _have you really let yourself sink so low?_

she needs a drink.

it’s a house party, so she hadn’t expected much, but the kitchen is stocked with surprisingly good alcohol and lena gives a nod of appreciation to the host when she finds a bottle of tequila in one of the cabinets above the sink. she has enough respect to pour herself a cup instead of outright chugging it on the spot, and has enough time for a refill while she checks her phone for the fifth time for a message from kara.

“good party, huh?” a voice drawls, and lena’s head shoots up to see a guy leaning against the entrance with an expression that she supposes is intended to be flirty but really just comes off as comical.

she knows how to deal with these type of guys. shut down the conversation every time they try to bring one up and wait until their two brain cells take the hint. “um, yeah. good.”

he smirks and takes a step closer, swirling his cup. “you look like you need some company.”

lena cringes. “i really, really don’t, thank you.”

“oh, come on. girls like you are so fucking stuck up.”

“that’s not going to make me want to talk to you, you know.”

the frat boy leers even closer, his eyes narrowing from mild confusion to slow realization. lena’s lower back hits the island counter and she swallows.

“you’re luthor, right?”

“that’s none of your business.” she tries to maneuver around the guy, but an arm quickly shoots out and lands on the counter, effectively trapping her. her heart starts racing.

“don’t use that bullshit on me,” he hisses, breath reeking of alcohol. his eyes are glazed and blown wide with fury. “you’re his sister. my uncle was part of the trials. your brother fucking killed him!”

lena wants to throw up. “that’s - that’s not – i had nothing to do with that.” she forces her hands to stop shaking and shrinks backwards when he growls.

“they should’ve locked all of you up. fucking murderers,” he spits. “maybe i should just do it myself, you little bi –,”

he doesn’t get to finish. a hand lands on his shoulder, and lena jumps in fright when the guy is yanked backwards. a subsequent _thwack_ follows and she has to blink ten times before finally comprehending the scene before her.

kara, in all her lumberjack glory, sleeves rolled up to her elbows and panting, is cradling her right fist while the frat guy moans on the floor, blood trickling through his fingers as he clutches his face.

“don’t ever talk to her like that, you hear me?” kara yells at him, swaying on her feet. “leave lena alone or i’ll - i’ll –,”

someone whistles behind her, and lena startles when she realizes that sara has been standing near them the whole time. “damn kar, that was a good swing.”

“you defending murderers now, danvers?” the guy scrambles to his feet but keeps his distance in an attempt to salvage as much dignity as possible. “she deserves to pay for what her family did.”

kara sneers. “she didn’t do anything, idiot. you’d know that if you had a single brain cell left in that head of yours.”

“kar,” sara warns. she tilts her head to the amassing crowd of curious stares directed towards them, no doubt lapping up the drama. drama involving the last free luthor, no less.

lena feels humiliation burn on her cheeks. if this goes back to her mother…or worse, the press…

“go. i’ll take care of them,” sara says kindly. “and get some ice on that hand.”

“let’s go, lena.”

they stumble out of the house, kara marching with pent-up anger and lena trailing behind in shock, arms wrapped around herself in a useless attempt to battle the cold.

“the nerve of that guy, the sheer idiocy. how _dare_ he say something like that,” kara seethes.

“kara, i’m fine,” lena replies a little desperately. she’s tired. she just wants to go home. wants to shut out the part of her mind whispering, _you deserve it, you deserve it, you deserve it._

kara whips around. “he was an idiot and he had no right –,”

“just drop it, okay?” kara must’ve caught the exhaustion in her voice, because she does, deflating into a sigh. lena stares at her shoes.

_you couldn’t even defend yourself, had to drag kara into it, all those years of walling off emotions and you just froze like that._

“alright. let’s go home.” kara bumps her shoulder against lena’s, raising her right fist that’s beginning to purple around the knuckles. “but you’re helping me with this, alright?”

and it’s when they’re piled up on lena’s bed and kara hisses in pain for the sixth time as lena accidentally presses the frozen bag of peas too hard that she quietly asks the universe what she ever did to deserve kara.

 

**5.**

the party was merely a hiccup in her otherwise consistent routine, so it’s no surprise that lena finds herself in her room studying for one of her software engineering classes on a saturday evening. out of habit, she glances at kara’s messy bed and swallows down a pang of longing. it’s selfish of her to want kara’s company especially on the middle of a weekend like this, a period of time wisely used by the majority of her peers to either go clubbing or stress over their pile of unfinished assignments, but she hasn’t seen her since kara left in the dead of the morning without informing of her whereabouts and leaving a slightly crumpled sticky note saying ‘i’ll be back before tonight!’ posted on their shared desk.

yesterday’s brief exposure to a standard college-level social affair wasn’t the prettiest, and if anything it should’ve warded her off of kara’s ideas of fun. but lena finds herself staring at kara’s dishevelled bedsheets like a child coming back for more ice cream even after vomiting from too much of it. case in point, an idiot.

_you’re getting soft, lena. never forget to watch your back._

a buzz on the nightstand breaks her reverie, and she half reluctantly turns back to her notes. not even a minute later, six more buzzes follow and lena shoves the book aside, grumbling as to who would have the guts to double text her like that. on a saturday, no less.

her breath catches when kara’s name pops up in the notifications.

**_kara danvers (roommate)_ ** _(7 new messages)_

_18.47 lenaaaaaa!!!!!!!_

_18.47 sos sos sos_

_18.47 can u call me asap with an exucse_

_18.47 i was scammed into a date oh my god_

_18.48 pls pls just pretend tht u need my help_

_18.48 its w/ mike i want to d i e_

_18.48 r u there???_

her phone only rings once before kara picks up, her voice laden with exasperated relief. “lena! what’s up? are you in trouble? do you need anything? like, anything at all?”

“where are you?” lena switches her sweatpants for a pair of jeans and grabs her shoes.

“um, like the bar near campus. why?”

“okay. hold on.”

“huh? wait, wh –,”

lena ends the phone call and sprints out her dorm in a fashion that her lab partner jack would describe as embarrassingly whipped. she vaguely knows of the aforementioned bar, has never stepped inside before due to the presence of other bars offering better quality drinks than the cheap beer and chips they serve to broke college students on the regular, but manages to find it in record time.

kara’s face lights up when she sees her and she nearly falls off the barstool. “lena? you - what are you doing here?” the eagerness in her voice is unmistakable.

lena side eyes mike, who is looking less than pleased at the interruption. “i was…in the neighborhood.”

“we’re all always in the neighborhood. we live here,” mike says, annoyed. kara shoots him an irritated look and approaches lena, grabbing her purse from the counter. she loops an arm around lena’s.

“well, i guess it’s my cue to leave.”

“what about our date?” mike protests.

kara, bless her heart, is too polite to roll her eyes at his incessant whining. lena does it on her behalf.

“it was nice of you to buy me a drink. less nice of you to lie and trick me into a date when i never agreed to it in the first place. i’ll see you in class.”

and with that, kara spins on her heels and leaves, pulling lena with her and leaving a gaping mike. out of the corner of her eye, she sees the bartender giving him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder.

“what just happened?” lena blurts once they’re safely out the door.

kara bursts out laughing. “you didn’t have to come all the way here. i told you to just call me!”

“i figured that this would work better. most people would be repelled by the presence of a luthor.”

a slow grin appears on the blonde’s face. “throwing your weight around, huh? i’m disappointed in you.”

“disappointed enough to go back to mike and his bud lights?”

kara wrinkles her nose. “gross. he texted me saying that some guys from our department wanted to meet up, but when i came it was just him waiting for me. and it would’ve been rude for me to just leave so i stuck around until he got way too annoying. that’s when i texted you.”

“guess i’m finally good for something, huh?” lena teases. it takes a few seconds for her to realize that kara has stopped walking and turns back to see her looking at lena with a funny expression.  

“what?”

under the illumination of the yellow streetlights, kara’s blonde hair seems to glow. “you - you have no idea how much you mean to me,” she breathes.

lena drops her gaze, embarrassed. “i mean, it can’t be that much, right?” she laughs nervously.

“lena.” kara steps closer and puts a finger under her chin, tilts her head up so their eyes can meet. “you seriously need to stop thinking so low of yourself.”

lena swallows and resists the urge to look away. direct eye contact reveals emotion, and revealing emotion means being vulnerable.

for once, she wants to let herself be vulnerable.

“why do you keep trying to be my friend?” she asks quietly. “you have all those people, why do you even bother with me?”

kara tilts her head. they’re standing close enough that lena can rest her head on kara’s shoulder if she just leans a little forward. “you really don’t know?”

lena shakes her head imperceptibly.

kara’s eyes are hooded and so, so blue. “you deserve the world,” she whispers, the words ghosting over lena’s lips.

when they kiss, lena’s world quiets down into where their lips meet, and a single thought rises from the back of her mind.

to her surprise, it’s not lillian’s voice this time.

_i don’t want the world. i just want you._

**Author's Note:**

> me: not ready for the reveal, am going to be deceased when the finale airs tomorrow, whipped for these two idiots


End file.
